Apology Edits

One of the Vancouver rioters decided to post an apology to the city online. What came off, however, was a whining rant. She has edited the post as reaction from the web has been swift, but I still had the original as I had entered the text into a word count generator. Via Camille Cacnio.

Dear City of Vancouver and all its residents,

Yes, this is me in the picture above.
Yes, this is me in the 1:30-1:33 mark of this youtube video.

I am not proud of my actions and have made a visit to the Vancouver Police Department, over the weekend to turn myself in.  This blog will serve as a public apology to those that I have offended with my actions, to clarify certain issues, and to address a few peripheral issues that I take as a concern.

My Apologies

I apologize to the City of Vancouver for participating in this riot.
I apologize to the residents of Vancouver for having to deal with the consequences of the event.
I apologize to my friends and family that have been affected by my actions.
I apologize to the Canucks for reacting in a way that is unsportsmanlike.

I apologize to Black & Lee, its employees, and all the customers who have been affected by my actions.

I apologize to Burrard Acura, my managers, my coworkers and its customers.  In no way, shape or form does Burrard Acura condone this type of violence or misconduct.  It is not necessary to associate my actions with the good reputation of Burrard Acura.

I apologize to Enspire Foundation, its’ volunteers, sponsors and supporters. Enspire Foundation is a reputable non-profit organization that does not condone violence or misconduct behaviour in any way, shape or form. To additionally make things clear, I have not been active with Enspire for quite some time now, so there is no need to associate my actions with the integrity of Enspire Foundation.

I apologize to UBC Athletics and Recreation and to the UBC Rowing Team, the coaches, the athletes, my coworkers and manager, its other employees, its participants and its clients.  In no way, shape or form does UBC Athletics or the UBC Rowing team condone violence or misconduct, and should thus not be associated with my actions. To additionally clarify, I have not been a part of the UBC Rowing Team at all during the last term.

Lastly, I apologize to the Faculty of Science.  The faculty of science in no way, shape or form condones violence or misconduct.  My actions should not be reflective of the good research and work that they have performed.

My Story

I know a lot of you don’t believe me, but the truth is that I take full responsibility for my actions and am sincerely apologetic for what I did.  What I did was completely out of character for me, but I did it because I was influenced by mob mentality.  I want to shed light onto the thought process that was in my head so that maybe you can all get a little bit of an understanding and sympathize for people like me, who made wrong decisions but have now become victims of this social media form of mob mentality.

Why don’t I think I deserve all this treatment?

Because for one, I’ve admitted to my mistakes, two, I am ready to deal with the consequences in a judicial manner, and three, because (may I remind you that) I am responsible for theft – a fairly minor action compared to vandalism and arson. Please remember and understand that I am not responsible for the riot.

I did not vandalize any buildings.
I did not set fire on anything.
I did not break any glass.
I did not instigate the riot.
I did not physically harm anybody.
I did not jump on any cop cars.
I did not even plan on being in the riot.

On any regular day I would not condone looting.

However, at the time of the riot everything just seemed so right.

At the time, being a part of the riot was simply to fulfill the adrenaline rush I was looking and hoping for – an adrenaline rush that I previously got from post-winning games: hugging randoms, dancing on the streets, honking car horns non-stop, and high-fiving just about everybody.  In the same way that everybody enjoyed collectively showing pride in our team, it was enjoyable to express my disappointment in a collective manor.

I had no intentions of defiling the city.  I love Vancouver as much as you do – I’ve lived here since I was 7 months old.  But in my immature, intoxicated perspective all I saw was that the riot was happening, and would continue happening with or without me, so I might as well get my adrenaline fix.

And what was going on my head about the stealing?

As bad as it sounds, the stealing was purely fun for me.  I had no intentions with the product.  I just wanted to get a souvenir at the time.  I took two sized 42 mens dress pants.  I’m a woman’s size 6-8.  I don’t have any brothers, cousins, boyfriends, fathers, grandfathers or anything else of the like that are size 42 in mens.  I did not plan on selling them either.

*FYI: The pants will be returned, but are not yet returned because the cops want to schedule an appropriate time and date to do so.

I’m a UBC student, and an adult.  Shouldn’t I know the difference between wrong and right?

Well yes, I should…but in certain circumstances our perspectives get seriously skewed.  It was extremely hard to see the consequences in taking a couple pants,  when around me people were lighting up cars, smashing windows and inflicting physical pain on one another.  My train of thought at this point was that “the place is already broken into, most of the contents of the store have already been stolen, so what difference does it make if I take a couple things?”  Not convinced?  Maybe Christopher Schneider, assistant professor of sociology at UBC, can convince you.  In his recent quote in the Vancouver Sun he states:

    “When the riot started unfolding …you have a lot of law-abiding citizens hanging around downtown who otherwise would’ve got out of Dodge…When you have a mob or riot-like activity, individual accountability tends to go out the window. People see other people setting fires and they think, ‘I’m going to set a fire too, and I won’t get caught.’ These types of people typically wouldn’t set a fire on their own.”

But still, a lot of you don’t find credibility in the theory of mob mentality

I’ve heard people discredit the theory of mob mentality in the case of the 2011 Vancouver Riot. People say that it is clearly possible not to be influenced by others, because for one, majority of people left downtown right away and didn’t participate.  And further, that many people who stayed didn’t do anything but watch/take pictures/film.  Therefore anybody who tries to reason out by citing the theory of mob mentality is just finding a scape goat.  Not true.  I would know.  John Tauer, physiology professor of the University of St. Thomas would probably also know.  In a Minnesota newspaper he states that “many factors…create a mob mentality — though emotion and alcohol do top the list.”

And that’s really what it was for me. I was immature, intoxicated, full of adrenaline, disappointed in the loss, filled with young rage, and have a “go-out-and-do-it” kind of personality.  It had nothing to do with anarchy because I am definitely not an anarchist.  I am a law-abiding citizen that has had a clean slate criminal record before this night.  I had no intentions on harming the law, the city, any businesses or any people.  It was a spur of the moment kind of thing and I just got caught up in the chaos.

As soon as I left the riot I knew that what I did was wrong.

As soon as I left the riot I knew that what I did was wrong.  My levels of alcohol and adrenaline in my blood had seriously died down, and I was no longer surrounded by the mob.  It’s a little funny to me that that was so, because this is exactly what Schneider was explaining earlier: that people lose their individual accountability when in a mob.

If I knew that I was wrong, then why didn’t I do something about it sooner?

I knew that I was going to return the pants and tell the cops that I made a mistake, but why did I wait 2.5 days instead of .5-1 day?  Well, that would be out of pure nervousness…nervous to tell my parents and my sister.  I was raised in a good family and I was more nervous to tell them than the cops.  I had to be okay with admitting it to them before I could go out to the cops.

The infamous smile

And still, a lot of people will never find remorse for me because I had a huge smile on my face.  But like I said earlier, it was fun at the time.  I thought it was pretty funny because this is the only time that I would ever do something like this.  The smile on my face was an “I’m such a badass I can’t believe I’m doing this!” kind of look.

If you still don’t believe I’m a good person, here’s a little side story for you:

As many of you already know, I am majoring in Conservation Biology at UBC.  I strongly belirve in ecological conservation and sustainability.  That night, I saw a few  people that were trying to knock trees down.  So what did I do?  I yelled at them, saying “Pleaaseee, not the treees!!!!”  And what did they do?  They stopped.  And I felt like a hero.

The “21st Century Witch Hunt?”

In social media sites such as facebook and twitter, we have seen the following actions regarding the riot:

    mass amounts of people acting in ways that they would not normally act
    people thinking its okay to harm others because everybody else is doing it as well
    ensuring that peoples’ lives are destroyed, by making sure everybody collectively e-mails, phones and spams their families, their jobs, their schools, and all others that they are associated with (do it for your country! no wrath! vengeance is ours! the lives of others are miniscule the actions that they have mistakenly done!)
    trying to ruin the reputation of all organizations that they are associated with
    threatening associations to ruin their reputation if they do not disassociate themselves with that person
    exaggerating what that person did in order to make their actions seem completely unforgivable

Does this sound a little bit familiar?  I don’t know about you, but to me this sounds like people are trying to retaliate by yet another form of mobbing – the thing about this form of mob mentality that astounds me is that this time they’re doing it sober.  As Beer writes in a recent blog that I ran into, “Let’s hope the guilty are found and punished, but also try to make sure the online search for them doesn’t devolve into a 21st century witch hunt.”

Furthermore, the VPD does not support the negative behaviour that has been so prevalent online.  In fact, many of you should even be careful of what you say online, because everything that you say online is basically written in stone.  And anything that you say can and will likely be used against you in court.  If not in the judicial court, then in this new-aged social media court that everybody seems so happy and willing to partake in.

The judicial court is designed to give accused individuals the punishment that they deserve based on the actions that they have made, and protect them from punishments that they do not deserve.  It is made up of people that have received years of education and training.  This new social-media court that we see is made up of people who likely know very little about rightful punishments.  They make decisions based on emotions and try to incriminate individuals in harsh ways that are extremely unnecessary.  We need to leave the decision making to the experts, who can separate themselves from emotional decisions provide just punishments.

The VPD defined harassment for me the other day: that it is multiple attempts of unwanted communication.  They further advised me to file harassment on anybody who did not leave me alone.

A Peripheral Aside: Notes on Feminism & Racism

There are a few things that I have seen on social media sites that have come across to me as a major concern.  First off, a little bit about racism:

Since I am a Canadian citizen, I am aware of my rights.  Let me show you a little insert from the Canadian Charter of Rights:

    Equality Rights

    EQUALITY BEFORE AND UNDER LAW AND EQUAL PROTECTION AND BENEFIT OF LAW / Affirmative action programs.

    15. (1) Every individual is equal before and under the law and has the right to the equal protection and equal benefit of the law without discrimination and, in particular, without discrimination based on race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, sex, age or mental or physical disability.

    (2) Subsection (1) does not preclude any law, program or activity that has as its object the amelioration of conditions of disadvantaged individuals or groups including those that are disadvantaged because of race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, sex, age or mental or physical disability.

Racism is not accepted in my country, so to the following people, and all others of the like, if you are going to make racist remarks, then maybe you should leave our country.


@Mo Hill, I’m glad you own a colour TV.  I suggest also owning a time machine.  That way you can go back to the 1960′s, when colour TVs first started selling in large numbers…and when racist remarks like yours were much more appreciated. Also, Mr. I’m-so-Canadian, learn how to spell colour right.  In Canada we spell colour with a ‘u‘.  It’s because we are part of the British Commonwealth.  Were you aware of that?  If not, try reading up on it on Wikipedia.  (PS, that is what people in the kom-pyu-ter-world call a hy-per-link – sound it out, it’s not too hard!)  You can click on it and it will direct you to the Wikipedia page I was talking about.  You can also find other important information on there, such as, articles on stupidity, imbeciles and mental retardation.   Hope that helps, xox!!!).

Here’s another thing that bothers me: why is everybody so surprised that a female partook in the riot?  What is with this attitude that females are incapable of doing what men can do?  Maybe it takes an event like this to show you misogynists that woman are fully capable of anything you can do.  And if my actions lead to that revelation in your obscure little heads, then maybe it’s a good thing that I partook in this event.

My Theory & Thoughts on the situation

What do I think of this whole situation?
I think it has been completely blown out of control.
I think that people are all over my case for several reasons:

1) I’ve lived here all my life so I am bound to have made a few enemies along the way.
It seems abnormal how passionate some people are at trying to ruin my life.  Well you know what?  I think it’s sad how much you all want to ruin my life and how I have become the centre of your worlds.

2) I’m a UBC student that works two jobs, volunteers and am athletic.
Well guess what folks?  People who work hard make mistakes too.  And to the guy who called me a “disrespectful spoiled little bitch,” you are completely wrong.  I was raised by hardworking parents and was taught to work hard for myself.  I work hard to pay for my own rent, my own groceries, my own bills, and my hobbies.  I have additionally also been fully responsible for financing my own education.  I have been working since I was 14 years old – as soon as I was legally able to do so.  I have been responsible for obtaining my volunteer opportunities and my work opportunities.  So please people, find it in your humane hearts to let the cops deal with the rest of this.

3) I have been dehumanized.
Nobody has sympathy for a picture.  I have been painted out as a criminal, and not the person that I really am.  Everybody associates me with all the bad things that have happened in the riot.  I do not agree at all with how far the riot went.  If you must know, I wasn’t even at the riot when it was at its peak.  And to the girl that messaged my sister on Facebook, I sincerely apologize that your boyfriend got stabbed, but I had nothing to do with that.  I wish him the best and I hope he gets better.  But please separate me, and especially my family from these horrible things that have been done.  Remember, the only thing that I did was take a couple things from a store.  It’s fairly minor compared to the rest of the acts that were done.

4) People don’t know how else to vent their anger
I honestly think that the reason why people are so strongly targeting people like me is because people are upset.  They are drunk off of emotions, and want to do everything they can to fix their city.  I completely understand that and like I said, am not proud of myself!  Collaborating to clean up the city?  Excellent way to remediate the mess.  IDing people?  Very helpful for the VPD – saves time and money for the cops and in the end for our city.  Harassing people, ruining their lives, and finding unlawful punishments?  Not at all helpful.  It gives the cops more things to deal with, and is in a way a form of anarchy.  The laws were made for everybody to follow: criminals and spectators alike.  So for you to disregard the laws makes it seem like you are an anarchist…starting a mob…based on social media…starting to get the picture yet?

Anyways, long story short, venting your anger on people does not make the situation better, so feel free to ID people and help in ways that you can, but don’t ruin our lives!

My Requests:

In the Canadian society that we all know and love, we are taught to be righteous individuals, to stand up for our rights, and to be loyal to society.  Well great, props to everybody for being loyal to society by IDing people.  They (we) will get what they (we) deserve.  But you guys are completely forgetting that we have rights as well.   It is completely unrighteous to be spending your entire day(s) contacting us, re-posting our pictures, and having everybody collaborate to ruin our lives.  Not even the VPD spend that much time on us, so please simmer down a tad bit.

Not only that, but Canada prides itself in being a peaceful country.  We Canadians are loved around the world because we know how to handle ourselves and we avoid war as much as possible.  The actions that I have seen on social media sites are embarrassing to our country and our reputation.  These actions do not reflect the kindness that us Canadians are all known and loved for.

So please, give me, my family, my friends, my school, my employers, and everybody else or everything that I am or was associated with a break.  It’s called mistakes.  I learned from my mistake, I am not proud of my mistake, and I will make sure not to be influenced by people as easily as I was.  I will make sure to make proper judgements on all my decisions in life.  I am prepared to do community work, pay fines, and if worst comes to worst, even a criminal record.  The same goes for Nathan Kotylak, Sienna St. Laurent, Jason Li and all the others who deserve a break.

As angry as this blog is (a natural response after seeing people repeatedly trying to – successfully – ruin your life), I am again very sorry for my actions. I have reported to the VPD, will return the pants when they want me to, and am currently waiting to see what I will be punished with.

I want to save this last paragraph to my friends and family who have supported me through this difficult time.  Without your help I may have lost my mind already.  To those who know me and have turned their backs on me, please delete me from Facebook and disassociate yourself from me as much as possible because I don’t want to have anything to do with you.

Thank you ever so kindly for your time.

Sincerely,

Camille Cacnio
AKA: “Looter”, “Flip”, “Anarchist”, “Criminal”, “disrespectful spoiled little bitch”, “skank”, “lowlife”, “disgrace”, “POS”, “troglodyte”, “scum of the earth”, and much much more.

Living With Lions

 I want to congratulate Vancouver natives Living With Lions on reaching a dream, a goal, a conquest of virtually every punk rocker out there. They've upset the Department of Canadian Heritage. Their new album aesthetically resembles a bible and is (in)appropriately titled Holy Shit.

While I think that the head of the Department of Canadian Heritage has the right to his own opinion,  and the right to be in touch with FACTOR, a publicly funded subsidy program for major and minor artists alike, I hope that the result of these conversations does not influence the choices of FACTOR, or embarrass Duncan McKie. I think that it's fairly clear that Canadian musicians are working outside of a model that is self-sustaining, and the Canadian government has opted to recognize and aid this to help continue the progression of Canadian arts. You can see a list of approvals here; they include large names including The Trews and Shawn Desman, two very prominent and nationally recognized acts.

Which is exactly why I don't think that the Heritage Minister should be allowed to weigh in on an album cover that may offend a religious group. The album cover does not promote hate, and the concept of offense here is rather subjective. Personally, I'm annoyed that my tax dollars are spent on sexually driven music about moneyshots being played on radio stations targeted at young girls, courtesy of Mr. Desman. But I'm going to let it slide, because I understand that pop music is largely sexually driven, vulgar, and marketed towards teens. To deny Shawn the ability to talk about sex in his music would be to hinder his ability as an artist. I think it's a fairly easy argument that to deny a rock or punk artist his ability to be provocative would be to deny the form of art itself.

I encourage people to contact FACTOR and show them some appreciation for allowing the progress and development of Canadian music, and applaud him prematurely for resisting the pressures of the Canadian Heritage minister.

Capture the Flag

Photo courtesy of eych-you-bee-ee-ahr-tee via CC BY-NC license.

When I was a kid, the high school thought it'd be a great idea to add Capture the Flag to part of P.E. While most of us hid and took our free hour in what was, at the time, a relatively dense and lush forest immediately behind the high school, some bit and decided to actually play the game in a hinterland of stinging nettles.While I usually hid in the bushes, I'm considerably more interested now in the strategy element of the game that was wildly neglected in high school.

Capture the Flag is currently finding a resurgence in urban areas among adults; there are currently organized games in many large cities including Toronto, Washington DC, and San Francisco. Vancouver's game is about to be merged with Vancouver Improv Everywhere to host a monthly event in the heart of the downtown core. Judging from their blog, they seem to be a fun group of people with nicknames like The Major, Statsman, Klopp, and a bevy of sexual innuendos unfit for publication.

The event is free and is to begin at Yaletown Skytrain Station between 3:30 - 4 PM on Saturday, June 4th. Please expect to arrive early, as I doubt they'll be waiting for you, soldier.

Brewery Creek Beer Festival

Beatty Street Drill Hall, 1901

Yesterday I attended the inaugural Brewery Creek Beer festival at the Beatty Street Drill Hall. It was the first time I'd ever been inside the beautiful brick building, which is celebrating it's 110th birthday this year. Vancouver has never truly been known for it's need for military might, but I'm often fascinated by the few reminders that war was once a tangible threat in Vancouver. Designed by David Ewart, the architect behind Victoria's magestic Museum of Nature, this limestone armoury is as impressive as it's three foot walls imply.

Museum of Nature, Victoria

Inside, the event was home to nearly 20 American craft brews, notably including Deschutes and Rogue, and the thirty dollars paid in advance yielded a 5 oz taster glass and three tokens, which were redeemable for the liquid I crave most. My friend and I quickly moved to buy up more tokens and took a liking to Deschutes, Shipyard, and Elysian, but were disappointed by the offerings of Buckbean. Their Orange Blossom Ale was a massive disappointment, and honestly tasted like someone had dropped orange zest into your standard pale ale. Blech.

The whole event was overseen by new Vancouver band The King Rails, who provided some awesome rock and roll throwback for the 850 beer aficionados in the hall. There is a growing microbrewing scene in Vancouver and neighbouring coastal cities. I personally recommend The Alibi Room and St. Augustine's for their incredible variety, or Steamworks and the under-promoted Granville Island Brewing Taproom for brews produced hyper-locally.

Musician Mike Taylor Assaulted Outside Surrey Bus Station

I met Mike Taylor in 2005, when I started working for a local boat tour company as a caterer. His band, Acoustic Groove, was a delightful escape on Sunset Dinner Cruises. As the years have passed, I've been blessed to know him as a friend, as we exchange stories about the music industry and our lives. He defines the word gentleman, with his softly spoken tones and gentle demeanour.

Mike intervened when a fellow bus patron was being harassed by a few youth late Friday night. Having just completed a gig with Acoustic Groove at the Shangri-La Lounge, he was en route home to his daughter and his very pregnant wife when he stood his ground against five youth, who were tormenting an unknown rider while taking pictures. Mike held his ground against the youth, who in turn, shouted racial epithets at him.

Waiting at Scott Road Station for a transfer, he was attacked by the group of kids, between the ages of 14 and 18. They punched and kicked him unconscious outside the station, where he was later found by police.

Mike has been released from the hospital suffering from abrasions and kicks to the head, and the five youth have since been arrested. His guitar has been recovered and is being held as evidence.

As Mike has been left unable to work and is soon expecting a second child, an account has been set up for him at Vancity. Account 427245, Branch 18, Coquitlam.

The Black Capped Chickadee

A recent visit to the Vancouver Art Gallery reminded me of the painful struggle to learn the call of a particular bird. Alternatively dubbed the "Nelson" bird, the Black Capped Chickadee makes a good point to weaken the confidence of any grown man within earshot.

Perhaps you didn't shave this morning. Perhaps the bird saw your bank account. It doesn't matter; it just wants you to know that somewhere, you're being outperformed.

You can listen to it's Simpsons referencing mock here.

Photo Courtesy of jackanapes via CC-BY-NC-ND licence.

Day 18 - My Beliefs

I was about 14 or 15 when Romeo & Juliet came out - the relatively unknown Baz Luhrmann made a one-off side project; a sample-laden piece including Everybody's Free sung by child wunderkind Quindon Tarver entitled Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunglasses). Good, sound advice to live your life by.